A letter for my son, Aqlan Ahmad

Dear son,

From the moment i heard your heartbeat inside my womb, i started to pledge.

I want to be the very best for you. I want to be your idol.
I want you to look up into me.
I want you to know that my love for you got no boundaries.

Son,

I want you to know that we might not see each other for quite some time.
So i want you to understand that it doesn't mean i do not love you anymore.
It is just that i got to do what i got to do.

Meanwhile,

When i was away,  listen to those who care for you.
Make their life easy.
You are now my mini embassador.
Make me proud sayang. As always.

When i settled everything and come back for you.

Pleaseeee...

Ran from afar. Hold and hug me tight. Kissed my chin,  cheek, forehead and we touch our noses like we always did. Tell me how much you love and missed me.

I promise to bring you presents. Eventhough i know the presents could not make up the lost time. Im so sorry sayang.

Im gonna missed your smells,  your smiles,  your stares, your touch,  your care.

Love xoxo,
Momma

No recent picture taken.
#Throwback old picture.

Kinabalu Park
Eid Adha
2017

#MyAqlanAhmad
#aletterforason
#suratuntukanakanda

A pinch test from Allah about redha

Last saturday i went to my MBA class at UiTM Kuantan.

During break,  we went to a stall nearby and get some light refreshments. We chit chatting and i overheard a conversation between two of my classmates.

Apparently,  Kak Shan,  our PTD officer just being transferred from a department  to another department.  She feels very sad so i try to calm her by saying that,  there will be hikmah of what is happening right now.

I shared with her about my own experience. When i feel demotivated, i straight  away do things that can motivate me back.

i remember telling her about what Datuk Dr.  Fadzilah Kamsah once told,  if we lost something that we dearly love or treasure,  we have to be redha and pray to Allah to compensate the loss with something better.  I gave her an example if you loss your car, redha and ask for new car from Allah instead.

Later when the class adjourned,  i couldn't  find my car key.. I tried to recall the last location  but i couldn't remember. I went downstairs and feel relieved that my car was still there at the carpark.

I went to the stall and ask the worker there if they saw my car key left on the table,  but one of the staff said no.

My friend and i tried to search for it in our class, at the musolla and at anywhere possible. But we still didnt get any clue.

An then,  that is the moment when i called my police friend and ask for his help to look after my car while i left my car there.  I decided to go somewhere else and just left my car there

To cut short,  one of ny friend ask me to ask the stall's staff again.  And we did.  Alhamdulillah. We found my car key.

Suddenly i feel very small.  Allah tested me on how i want to put redha into reality. Allah tested me on how to walk the talk. And Alhamdulillah,  i think i survived the test.

A quick recap from 2013-2018

Hello everybody.
Im back in blogging after feeling inspired by my UiTM friend, Azim.

In this blog,  i plan to write everything that i feel fb or IG cannot.

Look back at 2008, why i started blogging because of my passion in writing and passion of photography. So i use this platform to capture all the moment.

My last post was on 2013. After 5 years, so much things happen to me.

Im going to do some summary here.

2013= i bought my first home
I get married to the person i love. (bukan kahwin paksa)

I get pregnant
We went on cruise trip

2014= i loss the 1st pregnancy
And i get pregnant again
10 oct 2014, #AqlanAhmad was born.  Alhamdulillah. Truly a blessing  from god. He was a perfect son i could ever ask for.
I really his hearr shaped tongue.
Decided to do minor surgery.

2015= i couldn't  think of anything  special during this year.  What i still can remember, im struggling to breast feed  Aqlan.  Up until he is 1 year old,  on oct 2015, we did Aqiqah for him.
I stop breastfeeding Aqlan.

I realized  im pregnant  again. I wasnt ready.

Aqlan took his first long step after his birthday.

December: i met with an accident
Two weeks after that i loss my 2nd pregnancy again.  It was a spontaneous miscarriage.

2016= im struggling with work.  Sometimes i feel i gave up with everything.

Oct : we went to our first oversea trip to Krabi,  Thailand.

2017= on January we did surgery for Aqlan's tongue tie.
My last Annual Sales Convention. Went to Sunway Lagoom with my Bff.

I got pregnant again.  It was the planned one. But i miscarried again on March.
April i left Public Bank
May i joined Affin Bank as Personal Banker.
May: i went to Jakarta, Indonesia trip  with PBB staff

Aug: i bought new car. It is Proton Ertiga. I left JoVi in Amir's hand.

We went to Sabah for raya haji.
I started my MBA Journey.

2018=Jan: i went on oversea trip to Yogyakarta with my BFF.

I made new bff,  but i loss a bff.  Totally a mixed feelings.

Feb: i left my job at Affin Bank
Unemployed
I got 3.56 cgpa for last semester.

March : i got offer from other bank.
26-29/3/2018 we are going to oversea trip again.  This time round im bringing my husband n aqlan together with my mom and dad.


Till then.